If Giving Is Better, Why Would We Rather Get?

November 19, 2010 | By | 2 Comments

People who give inspire me. I have struggled with my own blocks to giving. I often guard my time, ideas and money as if I am down to my last minute, proprietary thought or nickel.

I have a lot of fancy rationalizations as to why I hold back yet I know this pattern runs deep in me. When I am not conscious, I give entirely on my terms; I hold back because I think everything is scarce.

The deeper truth is that giving is vulnerable. The vulnerability blocks us from giving. We have hidden beliefs that tell us that we could get hurt if we give, we could look like a fool, we could take our eye off the process of getting and accumulating. Yet to not give or to hold back in one area means we’re probably holding back in many areas. For example, if we don’t give money we don’t give time or attention or love.

In the course of writing my book I have had a lot of help. I have been blown away by the value I have received from people helping me for no financial benefit—I call these people my angels. I bet you have angels in your life as well.

Bob Tipton is one of my angels. Bob is a speaker, writer and consultant who just published Jump!, a book on successfully managing personal and business change. This book is well written and will be hot if you are managing some sort of change. Click here for a copy or to sign up for one of his webinars. Bob hardly knows me and yet has given away as much knowledge, time and insight on writing and publishing as I will take.

I am grateful but also inspired by Bob to work more on my blocks to giving and being more conscious when I say no.

What would your life be like if you dedicated it entirely to giving? I can see many benefits. Maybe a block to giving is also a block to living.

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About the Author (Author Profile)

Executive coach, top team facilitator, author and speaker. I work with individual leaders and their teams to help navigate personal and professional transitions and to increase leadership capacity and improve communication and relationship skills. I founded my coaching firm in 2001 following 12 years as a CEO. Check out more on me and my coaching process in my book "The Business of Wanting More: Why Some Executives Move from Success to Fulfillment and Others Don't"

Comments (2)

  1. Brian:

    Words escape me a bit when it comes to how I feel about your post — but two words come to mind. Thank you. You honor me — and I appreciate that. However, I consider myself to be the messenger here — the message is much larger.

    I forget who it was that said “there should be no copyright on wisdom,” but I like the statement. How different the world would be if we all simply shared with each other — instead of positioning, politicking, posturing, and protecting.

    Now — don’t get the idea that I have it “all figured out…” I don’t! I struggle daily with my own need to remember to think in terms of abundance, and gratitude, and self-less sharing. But, I’ve begun to overcome some of my limiting beliefs and actions from the past.

    I had someone in a session yesterday say, “Change is not so hard for me in the actions, it’s much harder in the thinking… Changing my thinking is the hard part!” That person is very insightful.

    Many great and wise teachers, coaches, and advocates have shared their experience and wisdom with me over the years, and I’ve come to realize that in the giving there’s also the receiving. It’s an exchange — one side does not exist without the other.

    So… You’ve also inspired me to continue to share, to be open and vulnerable, to give away everything – after all, the only thing that matters is our relationship with others.

    I wish you GREAT success! And thank you again.


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